A sense of self is your beliefs about yourself.
If you have a strong sense of self you are comfortable with yourself. When you have a lack of sense of self you don’t know what you believe. You may have heard over and over that you are bad or dumb when you were a child. Then it’s difficult for you to change that belief.
I have always felt that I had no idea who I was. I didn’t understand why I was like this. While in therapy I learned that for years I had to pretend all was well. I had to pretend I was happy and that I wasn’t afraid. Therefor I never had the opportunity to be the real me.
I would do personality tests all the time, but I had such a difficult time answering them. While reading different self-help articles they would ask me to list my strengths. I never knew what they were nor if I even had any. The same went for feelings. I still struggle with what my feelings are. Click here to read my Feelings Post.
According to The Courage to Heal
Survivors have a hard time recognizing their own interests, talents, or goals.
I am not self-aware. I have to ask other what my natural talents are. When you are self-aware it is easier to make changes to areas you think could use improvement. Understanding yourself helps you have meaning to your life. I have struggled with what I think I should be doing with my life. Now that I have started this blog I’m beginning to think this is one of the things I am supposed to do. I always said I’d like to help others like myself.
When you have a positive self-esteem you like yourself. You have confidence and respect yourself. Only when you respect yourself can you respect others. Then you can have lasting relationships. I have had a hard time making and keeping friends. My low self-esteem is a part of that.
Perhaps these questions can help you determine your sense of self.
What are your strengths?
My Strengths: responsible, kind, love to learn, like to teach, leader, fun-loving, thoughtful, strong, resourceful, independent, reflective, romantic and open-minded.
What are your weaknesses?
My Weaknesses: afraid of conflict, confused, reactive, stress easily and stubborn.
What are your beliefs about yourself?
Beliefs about me: I am a survivor, damaged, powerless, afraid, alone, my needs don’t matter and I am quiet.
This list is from 2010. Here is my new list.
Beliefs about me: survivor, healing, empowered, I can ask for what I want with extra courage, quiet
What are your beliefs about others?
Beliefs about others: you can’t count on some people, most are dependable.
What are your interests?
My Interests: I had nothing under this in 2010. I am interested in lots of things, especially learning new things. Now I am into Girl Guides, blogging, reading, camping, direct selling, wine and more.
What relationships do you have?
My relationships: I am a wife, mother, grandmother, friend, employee, entrepreneur, leader and a caregiver.