The second week of February is designated as “Children of Alcoholics week.”
As a child of an alcoholic
I have the following characteristics and traits. I found the basis of these traits from this article from the Searidge Foundation.
- I bury my feelings especially powerful ones. It was imperative for me to keep those feelings to myself to avoid any fallout from my father being drunk.
- I did not want him to get mad so I made sure I didn’t do anything to upset him. Not just him. I learned the best way to deal with any drunk was to avoid any possible conflict. Don’t rock the boat. Stay under the radar. As a result I lost any identity of my real self or any self-esteem.
- I feel responsible for the needs of others. I end up in relationships with men who need help. Thinking of others mean that their judgments of me are important. I need others to approve of me. I need those pats on the back.
- I buried any feelings of fear. I would never admit to being afraid or threatened. Keep it in. Avoid conflict.
- I have problems with my relationship with my husband because I find it difficult to express what I need from him. So I stew and get upset when he doesn’t give me support or understanding.
- When younger I couldn’t go without a partner. I felt abandoned. That I needed to be taken care of too. I’m not sure that has changed but now I feel like I’d like to try to be on my own.
- When stressed I feel that everything is out of control. One thing piles up on the other and life is sucks. It’s the all or nothing condition.
- My body deals with a lot of physical issues. I have tight neck muscles, jaw pain, headaches and more. I suffer from depression. Along with suppressing feelings, I never really grieved any of my losses such as my childhood, my mother, my pets.
- Although I never became an alcoholic myself I have an addictive personality and many traits of an alcoholic.